Note: This was written as an emotional outpour of mine and it deserves a space. For more authenticity online!
Lack of Significance and Frustration are emotional topics I am working on at the moment – and especially the frustration wanted to be verbally expressed that day. Let’s stay real <3
September 19th 2024, 22:03
Invisibility.
Anger.
Being overlooked.
Being looked down upon.
Barely noticed.
Infuriating.
Painful.
Screaming.
Why is nobody noticing me? Why is it always the other ones who shine brighter? Nobody cares. Nobody looks. Nobody sees my worth but a few.
The feeling of being on a stage – everyone just clapping for you. Standing ovations.
Walking into a place with some special ID- showing people your status. People behaving respectful and kind towards you.
So sick of the harsh tone. So sick of the “we want rude people”. Softness being overridden.
The feeling of lighting up a room. Attracting people. Receiving positive attention. Kind words. Love. For things you WANT to be seen for.
Childhood. Not enough praise? Not enough being seen for who I actually am?
The louder, the better. Louder wins. BE yourself, they say. I do. But nobody looks or reacts. Are you fucking kidding me?
Where is the rocket start? Where is the breakthrough? First praise – then nothing. First people are happy to see me, then they don’t care anymore.
Tears streaming, Burning on my dry skin.
No breakthrough. Not today.
Will it ever get better?
Thank you Frauke for this authentic text! We definitely need more authenticity online. I applaud your bravery to share your deepest feelings. Keep going!