It is always the same. At first I fear the change, I fear the crisis, I deny that it exists. I squirm and wind, wishing for an easy way out. And I feel it coming closer, the collision, the end, death. I feel dying long before others do, and it scares me. And then suddenly: with a bang it happens. And as it does, I realize how relieved I am about it. The inevitable. The thing you tried so desperately to avoid – it happened. And it was long overdue. And suddenly – amidst the ashes and destruction – everything is new and fresh. And I wonder: why did it have to be so painful? But then it seems like it has to be that way. Because only in this contrast I am able to really taste the fruits of rebirth – really appreciate their fresh sweet taste.
My life is a cycle of death and rebirth. Some cycles are slower, some quicker. It casts a shadow on everything that is. Every birth of a new relationship, already spells its death. Nothing is eternal. It is the lifetime itself that has to be cherished. Spring, and its sweet beginnings, summer and how life is in full bloom and opulence, fall, where things are slowly passing away in bright colors, and winter, complete silence and death that makes way for something new. Just like night and day, just like the tides – ebb and flow, just like the breath – inhale and exhale. Everything changes. Everything is in constant flux, drawing energy in and pushing energy out again.
Can I fall in love with this cosmic dance? Can I grieve and rejoice at the same time? Can I trust that after every loss, something new awaits me? Can I trust that if I feel joy, I will be able to bear any pain that may one day overtake me?
May every plant, animal and human that touched my way, just like me, find peace in this cosmic dance of death and rebirth, of summer and winter, of day and night.
