21/12/2020
The massive synchronicities of the past days have ceased. The earth has come to a place of stillness. Yet, there is so much life to be found amidst this foggy winter morning.
Standing in the mist-covered nature, I realize: This is the closest I’ve ever felt to freedom in a while. Protected like a bodyguard from unwanted looks, free to roam the meadows and forests as my exploring heart leads me.
This morning, I felt the strong call to take a walk and I am so glad I followed it. I entered my special forest spot. It is like a little forest sanctuary surrounded by meadows. Like an entryway, the forest opens up in one place, and is like a beautiful cathedral within. This morning, the entrance was sealed by a horizontal spiderweb, like a laser burglar alarm keeping unwanted visitors out.
When I stood in the ally of the tranquil, mist-enwrapped place, I suddenly started to talk. I wished the spirits of the place a merry Yule and Winter Solstice. I opened up my arms in a state of receiving, as if waiting for a gift. And I got one right away.
Upon entering, this one tree had caught my eye. It just kept pulling my attention. – I talked about how ashamed I was to be German and part of the human species. This morning everything was so loud. The wind carried over the noise of a busy federal road and a nearby factory site. I felt shame for being part of such a loud and un-attuned species. And why German? The country with the lowest consciousness of the entire planet earth?
Suddenly, the tree entered my mind again. I just followed the call. I leaned the weight of my body against its stem, resting the side of my face against its rough bark. And then I started sobbing. Uncontrollably.
It was like two arms reached to hug me. The presence was so majestic, calmly penetrating my emotional system. And I noticed how it was shame all along, holding me back from hugging trees. I almost anticipated the tree to angrily reject me, like the Shriecking Shack in the Harry Potter books. But none of that happened. The tree was just there, unaltered, stable.
And if the essence of this universe were feelings, this simply must have caused a beautiful riple effect of emotional healing within me, on this morning of the Winter Solstice.
From now on, days will get lighter again.
♪ Happy Winter Solstice ♪
